497

i will forever hate the sound of corn being husked.

rrrrrrrrrrrrrip. rrrrrrrrrip. rrrrrrrrrrrip.

i think i would rather grind my teeth against a sheet rock chalkboard than hear the customers in my store ripping the shit out of georgia corn. i dont think it would bother me so much if they didnt have to throw the husks to the side, on the floor, in the air, down the road, over the hills and over to grandma's house in their quest for a perfect, silk free ear of twenty cent corn.

im fairly certain a customer will one day ask me if they can husk the corn on my face.

rrrrrrrrrrrrip.

besides, anyone worth a bag of salt knows that unless the corn will be eaten raw, (which, by the way, is the best way to munch an ear), the husk must remain intact in order to grill it to perfection.

rrrrrrrrrrrrip.

i would love to visit these people's homes with a bag of peanuts and throw the shells all over the fuckin' place as i ate them.

"youll clean that up, wont you?"

i suppose a customer would find it extraordinarily difficult to cook their corn with my cock stuffed into their bronchioles.

498

if a drink was really ice cold, you wouldnt be able to drink it, would you?

499

one primary goal i intend to accomplish throughout the lifespan of this blog is the exposure of bullshit advertisements, claims and business practices for all to behold and react as they may. bullshit manifests itself in an infinite myriad of mediums and arrives in front of our eyes in a grand assortment of shapes, forms, sizes, times, locales and gradations.

those of you who know me know that im really fucking good at what i do; this time around im in the demolition business and my wrecking ball knows no boundaries.

i recently came across a website under the domain name fafsa.com during my nightly internet travels.

for those of you who have never used fafsa, it stands for "free application for federal student aid."

notice the word "free," didja?

the entire point of fafsa is to ease financial strain on college students by allowing them to apply for federal grants in order to pursue their education without falling into horrendous debt. the process is extraordinarily simple and takes a grand total of twenty minutes to complete.

fafsa.com charges their users eighty bucks in return for doing nothing. if you navigate the website, you will see that anyone who uses the service must fill out the entire fafsa form by themselves.

customers essentially pay fafsa.com $79.99 to forward an already completed form to the government. students who navigate to the actual government fafsa website can do the same thing at no cost.

thats the whole fucking point.

for legal reasons i cant copy and paste anything written on fafsa.com's moronic website; however, in homage to penn and teller's awesome showtime series, i will simply write that the assholes at fafsa.com are fucking bullshit-munching motherfuckers who take advantage of financially strapped individuals by making it seem as though the free application for federal student aid is instead a fee-based application for federal student aid.

please visit fafsa.com, skim through all the morbidly amusing nonsense and tell everyone you know that they suck syphilitic dick.

500

some of you might know me as anguish.

some of you might recognize the style.

some of you might miss the chaos.



all of you will walk away with something.