491
"do you know why i pulled you over?" the cop asked.
the man chewed on the upper left side of his lower lip momentarily before saying, "i was speeding."
"license and proof of insurance, sir," the cop said.
the man fumbled around in the glove compartment, found his allstate insurance card, leaned to his left, unsheathed his wallet from the back pocket of his fading jeans, removed his driver's license and handed both documents to the awaiting michigan state trooper.
the cop began to return to his cruiser when he paused, lowered his leathery, weathered face to the window, tipped his hat slightly backwards and asked "arent you gonna offer any excuses this evening?"
the man looked up, rhythmically tapped his black steering wheel with a few fingers and, wearing a sheepish facial expression, shrugged his shoulders.
"nah. nobody i know is sick in the hospital and im not a doctor so i have no patients that need my urgent care. im not a fireman, im not a cop, im not a judge, im not a congressman, im not a mayor, im not a notary public and im not related to anyone who is. my right foot hasnt been cast in lead. i wasnt being chased by fugitives. no gun was aimed at my head. i wasnt breaking in the engine. im not late for dinner. the kids are fine. the cubs already lost two to nothing. my house isnt on fire. aliens didnt implant a device that forced me to drive 95 miles an hour. my dogs are neither sick nor waiting to be walked or fed. i wasnt racing anyone for fun, i wasnt dared, i wasnt on the telephone, i wasnt changing the radio station, i didnt drop anything on the floor and my accelerator wasnt stuck. i wasnt late for an important business meeting. i had no flights to catch. i wasnt dropping off donations at the church and i wasnt in a hurry to volunteer anywhere. i could clearly distinguish the speed limit signs that were noticeably posted every mile or two. i had no emergency situations whatsoever and frankly when i arrive home i will have absolutely nothing to do but kiss my wife. i just wanted to get there earlier."
the trooper continued to look at the man for several seconds.
"i see," he said.
he then handed the driver's license and insurance card back to the man.
"have a nice day, sir."
the man chewed on the upper left side of his lower lip momentarily before saying, "i was speeding."
"license and proof of insurance, sir," the cop said.
the man fumbled around in the glove compartment, found his allstate insurance card, leaned to his left, unsheathed his wallet from the back pocket of his fading jeans, removed his driver's license and handed both documents to the awaiting michigan state trooper.
the cop began to return to his cruiser when he paused, lowered his leathery, weathered face to the window, tipped his hat slightly backwards and asked "arent you gonna offer any excuses this evening?"
the man looked up, rhythmically tapped his black steering wheel with a few fingers and, wearing a sheepish facial expression, shrugged his shoulders.
"nah. nobody i know is sick in the hospital and im not a doctor so i have no patients that need my urgent care. im not a fireman, im not a cop, im not a judge, im not a congressman, im not a mayor, im not a notary public and im not related to anyone who is. my right foot hasnt been cast in lead. i wasnt being chased by fugitives. no gun was aimed at my head. i wasnt breaking in the engine. im not late for dinner. the kids are fine. the cubs already lost two to nothing. my house isnt on fire. aliens didnt implant a device that forced me to drive 95 miles an hour. my dogs are neither sick nor waiting to be walked or fed. i wasnt racing anyone for fun, i wasnt dared, i wasnt on the telephone, i wasnt changing the radio station, i didnt drop anything on the floor and my accelerator wasnt stuck. i wasnt late for an important business meeting. i had no flights to catch. i wasnt dropping off donations at the church and i wasnt in a hurry to volunteer anywhere. i could clearly distinguish the speed limit signs that were noticeably posted every mile or two. i had no emergency situations whatsoever and frankly when i arrive home i will have absolutely nothing to do but kiss my wife. i just wanted to get there earlier."
the trooper continued to look at the man for several seconds.
"i see," he said.
he then handed the driver's license and insurance card back to the man.
"have a nice day, sir."
posted by megaton at 1:55 PM
2 Comments:
I could see you saying that to a cop...or is that just a tall tale?
ive never received a ticket...
Post a Comment
<< Home