410
"can you tell me where the peanuts are?"
sure. get in your car and drive twelve-and-a-half thousand miles east. youll find them in the bin labeled "im as far away from jeff while still being on earth as possible."
"are the fuji apples a dollar a pound or a dollar each?"
each. if they were sold by the pound the sign would say "each" instead of "lb." its basic physics.
"i got a piece of cortland apple skin stuck in my throat."
motherfucker! i told the apple i wouldnt pay unless he completed the job.
"$1.99? you call that a sale?"
no. i call it a price.
"i have this new recipe from betty crocker thats supposed to be good for you with lots of antioxidants and --"
excuse me. when you arrive at your question ill be in the back room etch-a-sketching my cock with a walrus tooth.
"where did these tomatoes come from?"
vines.
"is it safe to eat spinach?"
sure. just dont swim for half an hour afterwards.
"are you the produce manager?"
absolutely not. im the master of the universe.
"if it says buy one get one free can i just buy one and get it for half-price?"
okay, but ill need to fuck your daughter in the ass first.
"how do you eat these pineapples?"
i usually chew and swallow.
"when will the pink lady apples arrive?"
when theyre good and fucking ready, bitch.
sure. get in your car and drive twelve-and-a-half thousand miles east. youll find them in the bin labeled "im as far away from jeff while still being on earth as possible."
"are the fuji apples a dollar a pound or a dollar each?"
each. if they were sold by the pound the sign would say "each" instead of "lb." its basic physics.
"i got a piece of cortland apple skin stuck in my throat."
motherfucker! i told the apple i wouldnt pay unless he completed the job.
"$1.99? you call that a sale?"
no. i call it a price.
"i have this new recipe from betty crocker thats supposed to be good for you with lots of antioxidants and --"
excuse me. when you arrive at your question ill be in the back room etch-a-sketching my cock with a walrus tooth.
"where did these tomatoes come from?"
vines.
"is it safe to eat spinach?"
sure. just dont swim for half an hour afterwards.
"are you the produce manager?"
absolutely not. im the master of the universe.
"if it says buy one get one free can i just buy one and get it for half-price?"
okay, but ill need to fuck your daughter in the ass first.
"how do you eat these pineapples?"
i usually chew and swallow.
"when will the pink lady apples arrive?"
when theyre good and fucking ready, bitch.
posted by megaton at 11:49 PM
2 Comments:
Peanuts are for nuts...didn't we learn that when we were five.
Fuji...a fantasy name for an apple even though I prefer them, they are 3.99 a LB here…not each….at least I get two for 3.99…not one for 3.99.
You didn't offer the apple enough for the job.
No...I call it a ripe off...not sale…heh...
Betty Crocker is a fictional character...which I think would like having an etch-a-sketch of your cock...especially with a walrus tooth...
Where do tomatoes come from...good grief...Jamaica...doesn't everyone know that?
Spinach? Mindy can answer that one.
Now the half price sale and the daughter…well that is your preference…
Pineapple in Texas…shit…we just put it in the middle of the table and start gnawing from the top, down the side…and to the core.
And what the fuck is a pink lady apple?
"...we just put it in the middle of the table and start gnawing..."
reminds me of thanksgiving dinner.
Post a Comment
<< Home