357
357.
magnum post.
in 2001, kevin schwartz of new york graduated from harvard with a degree in government and a perfect grade point average; two years later, his sister lisa, who, interestingly, was also a government major, accomplished the same feat.
neither sibling ever received any grade lower than an "a" in any course they completed.
clearly the schwartz was with them.
henry kissinger graduated summa cum laude from harvard in 1950 but just missed a perfect g.p.a. by receiving a B in a philosophy course; one can only wonder what he might have accomplished in life had he decided to study instead of pulling six footers all semester.
conan o'brien graduated magne cum laude from harvard.
according to the nobel prize website, 200-300 people are considered for each nobel prize annually. although nominees are supposed to remain confidential for fifty years, the individuals who nominate candidates frequently leak information through a variety of channels.
george w. bush was indeed nominated for the 2002 nobel peace prize by a norwegian politician.
a fellow by the name of jimmy carter actually became '02's nobel peace prize laureate.
keep in mind that alfred nobel intended the award to honor those individuals that "have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses."
why bush didnt run away with the $940,000 prize is anyone's guess.
and now for some titties:
check out the lower left corner of this still frame from disney's 1977 film "the rescuers."
go ahead.
click on the picture and have a good look at the naked woman exposing her fabulous rack much to the delight of two animated rodents.
the photo represents one of two frames in the film's 112,000 total frames that contain bona fide nudity.
in 1999 disney recalled more than 3 million copies of the home video release stating that they wished "to keep our promise to families that you can trust and rely on the disney brand to provide the finest in family entertainment."
i cant argue with such a moving press release as disney has undeniably brought us some of the breast moments in celluloid history.
"cultured grade a lowfat milk, cherries, sugar, fructose syrup, high fructose corn syrup, contains less than 1% of modified corn starch, pectin, kosher gelatin, natural flavor, sodium phosphate, malic acid, carmine (for color), calcium phosphate. contains active yogurt cultures including l. acidophilus."
those ingredients look familiar?
thats what youll find on the back of a dannon cherry yogurt label. notice that i emphasized "carmine."
the small critter you see above is called a cochineal beetle; these insects feed upon the crimson juice of prickly pears which are the fruits of several varieties of cactus plants.
prickly pears, incidentally, are fucking delicious. go to a hispanic market and ask for "tuna."
approximately 70,000 beetles are required to produce one pound of carmine. once the pigment is extracted it finds its way into a variety of foodstuffs including yogurt, candy, juice and ice cream confections. its also used as a general dye.
the next time you devour a cup of your favorite red-hued yogurt think of crush depth and remember youll find more than just fruit on the bottom.
ready for the bullshit?
the word "tip" as it relates to giving a gratuity is an example of a "backronym" in which an already defined word is later ascribed acronymic meaning.
for example, the word "fuck" is not an acronym for the phrase "for unlawful carnal knowledge" or "fornication under the christian king" or "forced unlawful carnal knowledge;" rather, fuck is an anglo-saxon word that was first used in the fifteenth century to denote the act of sexual intercourse.
fuck is a word in and of itself that stands by itself.
similarly, the individual letters in "tip" stand for nothing; as the oxford english dictionary professes, the word tip finds its roots in a slang english verb meaning "to pass from one to another."
humans like to find or create significance where none exists.
furthermore, if "tip" was indeed an acronym, it would be more grammatically appropriate to "ensure" promptness than "insure" promptness.
do you want to hire an underwriter to author an insurance policy on your wendy's triple-stack or do you simply want to ensure that your carmine yogurt fiesta plate is kosher?
the only person who leaves a "tep" is a dyslexic richard gere walking out on his gerbil.
but enough about pretty woman.
well done, verbald, brandon and anonymous.
the line:
jada: one
verbald: one
brandon: one
anonymous: one
magnum post.
in 2001, kevin schwartz of new york graduated from harvard with a degree in government and a perfect grade point average; two years later, his sister lisa, who, interestingly, was also a government major, accomplished the same feat.
neither sibling ever received any grade lower than an "a" in any course they completed.
clearly the schwartz was with them.
henry kissinger graduated summa cum laude from harvard in 1950 but just missed a perfect g.p.a. by receiving a B in a philosophy course; one can only wonder what he might have accomplished in life had he decided to study instead of pulling six footers all semester.
conan o'brien graduated magne cum laude from harvard.
according to the nobel prize website, 200-300 people are considered for each nobel prize annually. although nominees are supposed to remain confidential for fifty years, the individuals who nominate candidates frequently leak information through a variety of channels.
george w. bush was indeed nominated for the 2002 nobel peace prize by a norwegian politician.
a fellow by the name of jimmy carter actually became '02's nobel peace prize laureate.
keep in mind that alfred nobel intended the award to honor those individuals that "have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses."
why bush didnt run away with the $940,000 prize is anyone's guess.
and now for some titties:
check out the lower left corner of this still frame from disney's 1977 film "the rescuers."
go ahead.
click on the picture and have a good look at the naked woman exposing her fabulous rack much to the delight of two animated rodents.
the photo represents one of two frames in the film's 112,000 total frames that contain bona fide nudity.
in 1999 disney recalled more than 3 million copies of the home video release stating that they wished "to keep our promise to families that you can trust and rely on the disney brand to provide the finest in family entertainment."
i cant argue with such a moving press release as disney has undeniably brought us some of the breast moments in celluloid history.
"cultured grade a lowfat milk, cherries, sugar, fructose syrup, high fructose corn syrup, contains less than 1% of modified corn starch, pectin, kosher gelatin, natural flavor, sodium phosphate, malic acid, carmine (for color), calcium phosphate. contains active yogurt cultures including l. acidophilus."
those ingredients look familiar?
thats what youll find on the back of a dannon cherry yogurt label. notice that i emphasized "carmine."
the small critter you see above is called a cochineal beetle; these insects feed upon the crimson juice of prickly pears which are the fruits of several varieties of cactus plants.
prickly pears, incidentally, are fucking delicious. go to a hispanic market and ask for "tuna."
approximately 70,000 beetles are required to produce one pound of carmine. once the pigment is extracted it finds its way into a variety of foodstuffs including yogurt, candy, juice and ice cream confections. its also used as a general dye.
the next time you devour a cup of your favorite red-hued yogurt think of crush depth and remember youll find more than just fruit on the bottom.
ready for the bullshit?
the word "tip" as it relates to giving a gratuity is an example of a "backronym" in which an already defined word is later ascribed acronymic meaning.
for example, the word "fuck" is not an acronym for the phrase "for unlawful carnal knowledge" or "fornication under the christian king" or "forced unlawful carnal knowledge;" rather, fuck is an anglo-saxon word that was first used in the fifteenth century to denote the act of sexual intercourse.
fuck is a word in and of itself that stands by itself.
similarly, the individual letters in "tip" stand for nothing; as the oxford english dictionary professes, the word tip finds its roots in a slang english verb meaning "to pass from one to another."
humans like to find or create significance where none exists.
furthermore, if "tip" was indeed an acronym, it would be more grammatically appropriate to "ensure" promptness than "insure" promptness.
do you want to hire an underwriter to author an insurance policy on your wendy's triple-stack or do you simply want to ensure that your carmine yogurt fiesta plate is kosher?
the only person who leaves a "tep" is a dyslexic richard gere walking out on his gerbil.
but enough about pretty woman.
well done, verbald, brandon and anonymous.
the line:
jada: one
verbald: one
brandon: one
anonymous: one
posted by megaton at 6:17 PM
5 Comments:
i'm just going to go get it over with and have "loser" tattooed on my forehead. I was trying to put it off until this game started…damn.
the difference between astute people and those who arent so bright is that the former find opportunity in error while the latter find error in opportunity.
youll nail the next one.
I should be eliminated from this competition, given that I not only typed in the wrong number on my first attempt at trivial glory, but I also had to time to review said number, and then hit submit anyway.
Following this one-key stroke of genius, I then broke the rules of competition by letting everyone know my answer was wrong.
I suck.
I'll be expecting my parting gifts any day now.
i watch the rescuers almost daily with jaron.. so, i thought i was right. damnit.. and i'll be throwing out all my cherry/vanilla yogurt. ugh.
no harm, no foul, brad.
i was pissed off at the individual who attempted to sanction his own incorrect answer before everyone else had a chance to participate.
i always welcome your contributions.
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