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russian president vladimir putin's explanation for why he kissed the bare stomach of a five year old boy out of the blue while visiting with tourists in the kremlin:

"he seemed to be very independent, very serious, but at the same time a boy is always vulnerable. he was very sweet. ill be honest, i felt an urge to squeeze him like a kitten and that led to the gesture that i made. there was nothing behind it really."

i wasnt too concerned until i read "really." whenever a high official includes the word "really" in response to charged questions somebody is probably getting fucked.

ill let you have the honors of crafting the punchline.