451
today was the first day in my life that i experienced worrisome chest pain. i had a similar discomfort one day last summer when i worked at evergreen lane farm; however, im sure travelling uphill fifty times with a wheelbarrow chock full of shit compost during two thousand degree, sultry heat played a primary role in that incident.
i realize that eating seven metric tons of saturated, hydrogenated oil-drenched goodies at the state fair did nothing to shampoo my arteries. i also understand that im waddling around with thirty excess pounds of sausage and assorted pastries. furthermore, the only time i actually participate in cardiovascular exercise is when i find myself in the ghastly predicament of frantically searching for some sort of remote control.
but for the love of christs magical mystery tour cock im only 28 motherfucking years old.
i suppose this represents one major disadvantage of being adopted; for all i know my father died of a massive heart attack ten years ago. perhaps serendipity is shining down on me in that i finally got my adoption papers notarized last week and sent them to the illinois adoption registry. in addition to meeting mein pappa biologica i would like to know what kinds of glorious health problems i can expect to grapple with as time marches ever onward.
i hope the chest pain is simply my body's way of confirming that jewel foods is indeed the devil's grocery store.
i guess it could also be a combination of panic disorder, agoraphobia and tolerance to medications that used to effectively combat such pathoses. im used to feeling disoriented, light-headed and anxious. prolonged discomfort on the upper left side of my chest, nevertheless, is a novelty i welcome almost as much as i embrace chronic diarrhea. at least i didnt feel shooting pain radiating down my left arm; this clinical offshoot of angina pectoris signals a dire insufficiency of blood to the heart. once that occurs your chest is likely to receive a date with the defibrillator.
oh well.
in the wonderful world of good news i received an "a" on the forensic scientist written test.
ring, you little cellular telephone.
fucking ring.
i realize that eating seven metric tons of saturated, hydrogenated oil-drenched goodies at the state fair did nothing to shampoo my arteries. i also understand that im waddling around with thirty excess pounds of sausage and assorted pastries. furthermore, the only time i actually participate in cardiovascular exercise is when i find myself in the ghastly predicament of frantically searching for some sort of remote control.
but for the love of christs magical mystery tour cock im only 28 motherfucking years old.
i suppose this represents one major disadvantage of being adopted; for all i know my father died of a massive heart attack ten years ago. perhaps serendipity is shining down on me in that i finally got my adoption papers notarized last week and sent them to the illinois adoption registry. in addition to meeting mein pappa biologica i would like to know what kinds of glorious health problems i can expect to grapple with as time marches ever onward.
i hope the chest pain is simply my body's way of confirming that jewel foods is indeed the devil's grocery store.
i guess it could also be a combination of panic disorder, agoraphobia and tolerance to medications that used to effectively combat such pathoses. im used to feeling disoriented, light-headed and anxious. prolonged discomfort on the upper left side of my chest, nevertheless, is a novelty i welcome almost as much as i embrace chronic diarrhea. at least i didnt feel shooting pain radiating down my left arm; this clinical offshoot of angina pectoris signals a dire insufficiency of blood to the heart. once that occurs your chest is likely to receive a date with the defibrillator.
oh well.
in the wonderful world of good news i received an "a" on the forensic scientist written test.
ring, you little cellular telephone.
fucking ring.
posted by megaton at 11:36 PM
3 Comments:
a glass of wine a day does wonders for the heart.(or so i've heard.. and therefore feel justified in drinking daily) i just need to keep it down to the one glass.
how soon will you know about the adoption registry?
congrats on the A.
yea...i've been thinking about starting to exercise and eat right...haven't really done anything...but at least i'm thinking about it.
"A" on your test....now why doesn't this suprise me...they'll call.
i hope i will know within a week or two if one of my biological parents completed the same form.
twilight zone.
Post a Comment
<< Home