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and now for today's edition of "i dont give a shit."
a customer barged into the backroom this afternoon clutching a bag of zucchini like it was a brick of precious gold bullion and exclaimed "excuse me... excuse me... excuse me... excuse me!" in an annoying, crescendo fashion.
i usually ignore the first two "excuse mes" unless ive made the unfortunate mistake of eye contact. why do i ignore the first two "excuse me's?"
because i dont give a shit.
"is the produce manager here?" she demanded.
"nope," i said. "we are all part-timers here."
i said that because i dont give a shit, you see.
"well i have a complaint!" she retorted.
apparently she wasnt feeling the "dont give a shit" vibe. seems to me that all complaints should be directed towards those who give a shit. im not a manager anymore so i dont give a shit.
i was, however, the senior employee by more than a decade so i reluctantly followed her to a zucchini display with signage that clearly read "10 lbs. for $10."
"i was expecting to pay a dollar each for these," she snorted. "the sign is very misleading."
yes, i can easily see how a person might mistake "lbs" for "each." theyre practically indistinguishable.
i then asked her if each zucchini weighed more than a pound. i knew that they didnt but i wanted her to realize what a fucking retard she was when she pondered her experience at our store. the zucchinis on the display probably weighed approximately half a pound; anyone with seven neurons and a #2 pencil can reason that youre better off paying a buck a pound rather than a buck a piece in such a circumstance.
"ill tell ron when i see him," i said with the inflection of one who doesnt give a shit. you know why?
'cuz i dont give a shit.
"well okay then," she replied, waddling away with a gait strikingly similar to that of a hamster.
the stupidity of our spoiled, north shore, high credit card debt, coke snorting customer base never ceases to dazzle me.
but then again, i dont give a shit.
a customer barged into the backroom this afternoon clutching a bag of zucchini like it was a brick of precious gold bullion and exclaimed "excuse me... excuse me... excuse me... excuse me!" in an annoying, crescendo fashion.
i usually ignore the first two "excuse mes" unless ive made the unfortunate mistake of eye contact. why do i ignore the first two "excuse me's?"
because i dont give a shit.
"is the produce manager here?" she demanded.
"nope," i said. "we are all part-timers here."
i said that because i dont give a shit, you see.
"well i have a complaint!" she retorted.
apparently she wasnt feeling the "dont give a shit" vibe. seems to me that all complaints should be directed towards those who give a shit. im not a manager anymore so i dont give a shit.
i was, however, the senior employee by more than a decade so i reluctantly followed her to a zucchini display with signage that clearly read "10 lbs. for $10."
"i was expecting to pay a dollar each for these," she snorted. "the sign is very misleading."
yes, i can easily see how a person might mistake "lbs" for "each." theyre practically indistinguishable.
i then asked her if each zucchini weighed more than a pound. i knew that they didnt but i wanted her to realize what a fucking retard she was when she pondered her experience at our store. the zucchinis on the display probably weighed approximately half a pound; anyone with seven neurons and a #2 pencil can reason that youre better off paying a buck a pound rather than a buck a piece in such a circumstance.
"ill tell ron when i see him," i said with the inflection of one who doesnt give a shit. you know why?
'cuz i dont give a shit.
"well okay then," she replied, waddling away with a gait strikingly similar to that of a hamster.
the stupidity of our spoiled, north shore, high credit card debt, coke snorting customer base never ceases to dazzle me.
but then again, i dont give a shit.
posted by megaton at 10:21 PM
3 Comments:
I had to read your post a few times. Once last night and twice today when I was more awake. Why did I have to read it several times you might ask yourself…to understand stupid. Where did she get $1 for each? Where?
im convinced she pulled the $1 each straight out of her cavernous ass.
our customers become embarrassed when they realize they dont know how to read; they cope with their dire ineptitude by transforming it into misdirected anger.
people are so stupid
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