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i ate at a brazilian, all-you-can-eat steakhouse this evening with four friends who all weigh well over two hundred pounds. at 230, i was only the third biggest boy at the table; rest assured some serious eating transpired.

i triumphantly announce that i handily outlasted everybody at the table. i felt it was incumbent upon me as an insatiable american to eat as much as i possibly could for as long as i possibly could.

mission accomplished.

even after i flipped my marker to the red side, (indicating that i no longer wished to be served), the "gaucho," no doubt sensing my penchant for gluttony, kept returning to me with a cornucopia of delicious, skewered, fire-roasted meats including lamb, filet mignon, bacon wrapped tenderloin, skirt steak, pork tenderloin and sausage.

holy fucking shit did i eat myself halfway to the merry land of atherosclerotica.

i also indulged in a decadent, cream-based papaya pudding -- a professed brazilian delicacy -- mixed with some sort of vanilla liqueur for dessert. might i mention it was an outstanding culmination to the kind of meal that would make even the most progressive rabbi wince?

as my arterial plaque continues to aggregate...