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everyone who knows me understands how much i motherfucking hate stupid, brainless, dazed, deficient, dense, dim, dodo, doltish, dopy, dumb, foolish, futile, gullible, half-baked, half-witted, idiotic, ill-advised, imbecilic, inane, indiscreet, irrelevant, irresponsible, laughable, loser, ludicrous, meaningless, mindless, moronic, naive, nonsensical, obtuse, pointless, rash, senseless, short-sighted, simple-minded, sluggish, stupefied, thickheaded, trivial, unintelligent, witless, crazy, daffy, dippy, dizzy, flaky, freaky, goofy, illogical, incongruous, irrational, kooky, loony, nutty, preposterous, sappy, screwy, silly, dull, pedestrian, platitudinous, square, stale, stereotyped, stock, tired, trite, unimaginative, unoriginal, vapid, watery, characterless, colorless, commonplace, drab, drudging, flat, humdrum, insipid, interminable, irksome, lifeless, monotonous, moth-eaten, plebeian, prosaic, repetitious, routine, spiritless, stodgy, stuffy, tedious, threadbare, tiresome, unexciting, unvaried, wearisome, well-worn, retarded fucking email forwards.
they suck.
whenever i feel like reading something that makes me want to ram a freshly sharpened awl into my left eyeball i simply choose any email forward and brace myself for its inevitable asininity.
tonight's mailbox, dear friends, contained no exception; i opened the following odious shit-shovel fodder with my cessna airsickness bag close at hand:
"i received a telephone call last evening from an individual identifying himself as an at&t service technician (could also be telus) who was conducting a test on the telephone lines. he stated that to complete the test i should touch nine (9), zero (0), the pound sign (#), and then hang up.
luckily, i was suspicious and refused. upon contacting the telephone company, i was informed that by pushing 90#, you give the requesting individual full access to your telephone line, which enables them to place long distance calls billed to your home phone number."
ugh.
listen very, very, very fucking carefully:
if youre one of eight morons left on earth who still doesnt understand that you shouldnt give any personal information or perform any idiotic maneuvers at the behest of a voice on the other end of the telephone line you deserve to be charged nine trillion dollars a minute by some unscrupulous phone company based in bumblefuck bangladesh.
if you ever doubt the veracity of a caller's claims hang up the fucking phone and fucking call the fucking company the fucking person fucking says fucking he or fucking she fucking represents. genuine companies who concern themselves with the privacy and welfare of their paying customers will understand your skepticism and appreciate your conscientiousness.
capiche?
they suck.
whenever i feel like reading something that makes me want to ram a freshly sharpened awl into my left eyeball i simply choose any email forward and brace myself for its inevitable asininity.
tonight's mailbox, dear friends, contained no exception; i opened the following odious shit-shovel fodder with my cessna airsickness bag close at hand:
"i received a telephone call last evening from an individual identifying himself as an at&t service technician (could also be telus) who was conducting a test on the telephone lines. he stated that to complete the test i should touch nine (9), zero (0), the pound sign (#), and then hang up.
luckily, i was suspicious and refused. upon contacting the telephone company, i was informed that by pushing 90#, you give the requesting individual full access to your telephone line, which enables them to place long distance calls billed to your home phone number."
ugh.
listen very, very, very fucking carefully:
if youre one of eight morons left on earth who still doesnt understand that you shouldnt give any personal information or perform any idiotic maneuvers at the behest of a voice on the other end of the telephone line you deserve to be charged nine trillion dollars a minute by some unscrupulous phone company based in bumblefuck bangladesh.
if you ever doubt the veracity of a caller's claims hang up the fucking phone and fucking call the fucking company the fucking person fucking says fucking he or fucking she fucking represents. genuine companies who concern themselves with the privacy and welfare of their paying customers will understand your skepticism and appreciate your conscientiousness.
capiche?
posted by megaton at 11:53 PM
3 Comments:
what about the ones you should forward or you'll be dead in ten minutes.. i love those!
i have a videotape, mindy.
if you watch it youll die seven days later.
my personal favorites are the ones that tell you to scroll down make a wish and forward it to ten people and your wish will come true.
but the wish comes from 10 other people that wished you didn't forward that garbage to them.
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