392
never begin a sentence with "there is," "there are," "here is" or "here are." dont conclude sentences with prepositions. pretty please with sugar on top dont put a fucking comma in front of the word "and."
ever.
never describe something as "abstract;" tell me what the fuck you think it looks like. ask a thousand people to describe a paper cup and youll receive a thousand similar yet unique responses.
i want to hear yours.
tell me enough but not too much.
dont play your heinous, cookie cutter music loud enough to stimulate my eardrums. system of a down and linkin park and metallica and the thousands of bands that try to ride each other's one hit wonders suck fucking dick.
pay good artists for good music. music makes the world tolerable. its worth the lighter wallet.
by the way, metallica, what the fuck happened to you? when did you start wearing tampons?
speak to me with dignity and i will treat you like royalty; speak to me with causticity and i will discard you like refuse.
show empathy. if you humiliate a disabled person i will throw you against the wall and burn a hole in your skull with my eyes before ending you.
dont ride my bumper in traffic. the closer you tailgate the slower i will travel.
count on it.
dont ask me questions while engaging in a cell phone conversation. show some fucking class.
dont whistle to hail my attention. im not your fucking yellow cab, im not your fucking sommelier and im not your fucking lhasa apso.
i wont tolerate your disrespect because your day sucked or you hate your life. keep your misery in your shopping cart.
never ask me how im doing unless youre sincere. never greet me at all if you dont look me in the eye.
dont pretend to care. dont tell me about your harvard-bound stepdaughter or your husbands new job at the mayo clinic or your new silver lexus because i dont care. lets call it a draw and skip the bullshit.
live in your bubble. dont burst mine.
dont tell me that disease and famine and poverty exist because god works in mysterious ways. look a person with lou gehrig's disease in the eye and explain to them that their inability to move is an integral component of god's amorous, benevolent plan. fuck you, you contemptuous assholes.
fuck you.
fuck you.
fuck you.
and hey, you motherfuckers, dinosaurs didnt co-exist with humans. you know why? because the bible is a fucking story, you fucking morons.
its a fucking paperback novel.
id explain the overwhelming mountain of evidence that supports evolution but why bother? explaining science to people who believe that the earth is 6000 years old is like explaining the significance of a hypotenuse to a giraffe.
you hear me clear enough?
ever.
never describe something as "abstract;" tell me what the fuck you think it looks like. ask a thousand people to describe a paper cup and youll receive a thousand similar yet unique responses.
i want to hear yours.
tell me enough but not too much.
dont play your heinous, cookie cutter music loud enough to stimulate my eardrums. system of a down and linkin park and metallica and the thousands of bands that try to ride each other's one hit wonders suck fucking dick.
pay good artists for good music. music makes the world tolerable. its worth the lighter wallet.
by the way, metallica, what the fuck happened to you? when did you start wearing tampons?
speak to me with dignity and i will treat you like royalty; speak to me with causticity and i will discard you like refuse.
show empathy. if you humiliate a disabled person i will throw you against the wall and burn a hole in your skull with my eyes before ending you.
dont ride my bumper in traffic. the closer you tailgate the slower i will travel.
count on it.
dont ask me questions while engaging in a cell phone conversation. show some fucking class.
dont whistle to hail my attention. im not your fucking yellow cab, im not your fucking sommelier and im not your fucking lhasa apso.
i wont tolerate your disrespect because your day sucked or you hate your life. keep your misery in your shopping cart.
never ask me how im doing unless youre sincere. never greet me at all if you dont look me in the eye.
dont pretend to care. dont tell me about your harvard-bound stepdaughter or your husbands new job at the mayo clinic or your new silver lexus because i dont care. lets call it a draw and skip the bullshit.
live in your bubble. dont burst mine.
dont tell me that disease and famine and poverty exist because god works in mysterious ways. look a person with lou gehrig's disease in the eye and explain to them that their inability to move is an integral component of god's amorous, benevolent plan. fuck you, you contemptuous assholes.
fuck you.
fuck you.
fuck you.
and hey, you motherfuckers, dinosaurs didnt co-exist with humans. you know why? because the bible is a fucking story, you fucking morons.
its a fucking paperback novel.
id explain the overwhelming mountain of evidence that supports evolution but why bother? explaining science to people who believe that the earth is 6000 years old is like explaining the significance of a hypotenuse to a giraffe.
you hear me clear enough?
posted by megaton at 11:18 PM
1 Comments:
people are full of piss and vinegar most of the time…its really shitty when they take out their bullshit on other people…but most of them are so unhappy that they don’t want to live in misery alone so they spread it around. I never understood that.
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