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an old, con artist woman rammed her electric cart into the produce backroom doors.
"hello? hello?" she said ad nauseum.
i finally strolled over to greet her at the point where the employee backroom meets the sales floor.
"how can i help you?"
"listen," she said.
"okay."
"i have this celery but i only need the heart."
i pointed to a nearby shelf. "celery hearts are right there waiting for you."
"no, this is fresher," she said, dismissing my finger. "will you cut off the top and bottom and give me half for forty or fifty cents?"
"no," i said. "if i alter prices ill get fired."
"your manager would do it," she said.
my manager, ron, would never do anything of the sort. this woman has a long history of pulling such asinine stunts as returning a single moldy grapefruit that clearly sat in her fridge for five months and demanding a five pound bag for free.
"ron isnt here," i said. "if you want ill call the store manager but i will not change the price for you."
"whos the manager?" she asked.
"vino."
her face weakened. "no, hes not in charge of produce."
i know she has attempted similar, trivial scams with vino before. vino doesnt take any shit and has always denied her ridiculous requests.
"okay," i said, raising an eyebrow and smirking.
i took the celery from her hand, let the backroom door close and placed the celery on the counter where it could wilt all night.
individuals including this customer fail to realize that bullshit always, always, always comes full circle. sometimes it takes longer than others but bullshit in its innumerable manifestations inevitably finds its way home to haunt the donor. i dont care if shes a ninety year old handicapped women in a motorized cart with six wooden nickels in her coinpurse. dont fucking lie to me and dont play me like im your personal court jester.
the beauty part is that i routinely grant such requests for people who exhibit at least a modicum of warmth, sincerity, and, most importantly, integrity. i wouldnt have been fired or even disciplined in the least for processing her celery.
i simply refused to be her clown boy bitch.
"hello? hello?" she said ad nauseum.
i finally strolled over to greet her at the point where the employee backroom meets the sales floor.
"how can i help you?"
"listen," she said.
"okay."
"i have this celery but i only need the heart."
i pointed to a nearby shelf. "celery hearts are right there waiting for you."
"no, this is fresher," she said, dismissing my finger. "will you cut off the top and bottom and give me half for forty or fifty cents?"
"no," i said. "if i alter prices ill get fired."
"your manager would do it," she said.
my manager, ron, would never do anything of the sort. this woman has a long history of pulling such asinine stunts as returning a single moldy grapefruit that clearly sat in her fridge for five months and demanding a five pound bag for free.
"ron isnt here," i said. "if you want ill call the store manager but i will not change the price for you."
"whos the manager?" she asked.
"vino."
her face weakened. "no, hes not in charge of produce."
i know she has attempted similar, trivial scams with vino before. vino doesnt take any shit and has always denied her ridiculous requests.
"okay," i said, raising an eyebrow and smirking.
i took the celery from her hand, let the backroom door close and placed the celery on the counter where it could wilt all night.
individuals including this customer fail to realize that bullshit always, always, always comes full circle. sometimes it takes longer than others but bullshit in its innumerable manifestations inevitably finds its way home to haunt the donor. i dont care if shes a ninety year old handicapped women in a motorized cart with six wooden nickels in her coinpurse. dont fucking lie to me and dont play me like im your personal court jester.
the beauty part is that i routinely grant such requests for people who exhibit at least a modicum of warmth, sincerity, and, most importantly, integrity. i wouldnt have been fired or even disciplined in the least for processing her celery.
i simply refused to be her clown boy bitch.
posted by megaton at 10:37 PM
4 Comments:
It’s so true. I will bend over backwards and do whatever I can for someone that asks me nicely or, as you said, “a modicum of warmth, sincerity, and, most importantly, integrity”. But if someone is indignent to me and I have what they want sitting right in front of me. Nope…Sorry….not possible.
when i worked at an ice-cream store a long time ago...if you are nice to me and ask for extra hot fudge.. i'll give you more than i should and not charge you. if you are an asshole, i'll charge you more than i should and give you a drop. why don't people get this. you get back what you send out.
I would have dipped the celery in the population paste...but maybe that's why I got fired from the A&P all those years ago. People suck...except for everyone here of course.
years ago we used to make fresh squeezed orange juice each morning at our store. once we sold all the quarts and half gallons we didnt make any more juice until the following day.
every so often this asshole would come in late at night and raise hell until the person in charge asked me to fire up the machine. cleaning a commercial juicer is a huge pain in the ass especially in light of the man's penchant for a single half gallon.
one day i was especially pissed off when the man arrived at the store. i made his juice and hocked a giant loogie in the jug before sealing the container.
fuckin prick.
not a good idea to fuck with people who handle your food. if youre angry at a waiter, never take it out on him personally. take your dissatisfaction out on the tip.
the impact will be far greater and your hot wings wont be laced with come.
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