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i filled out an "illinois department of public health adoption registry and medical information exchange application" this evening. somewhere in the great wide open i have two biological parents i have never met nor seen.
one night in the latter half of 1977 my eighteen year old biological father fucked the shit out of my seventeen year old biological mother; one of his "y" chromosome sperm ultimately found its way to her egg and created the individual who created this post.
i know little else except for a brief medical history and general demographic information. i know they both had at least six brothers and sisters (!!!) and i know that i am primarily swedish and german. i know that they never married or stayed together as a couple. i know that i have at least several half-siblings. i know that my father tried to contact me fifteen years ago but my adoptive parents decided not to share any information with either me or him at the time. i also know that neither or them -- not even my mother during childbirth -- has ever seen me. a curtain was placed between her eyes and her vagina during delivery. i was taken to an adoption clinic and brought home by my adoptive parents several days later. i weighed eight pounds.
thats about all i know.
my parents informed me that i was adopted as soon as i could comprehend its significance. it eventually would have become abundantly obvious for the simple reason that i look absolutely nothing like my adoptive parents or sister. (my adoptive mother gave birth to my sister; my adoptive mother was subsequently unable to conceive a second time so my adoptive parents decided to adopt a child.) besides having light hair, light eyes and just about every other swedish characteristic known to man, i am also the only person in my immediate family who is right-handed.
if either of my biological parents completed and sent the same application that i will soon send to the department of public health we will both be contacted and furnished with each other's names and last known addresses. if neither of them has sent the form then nothing will happen.
if i receive a letter in the mail i will enjoy a feeling few people on the planet will ever have the pleasure of experiencing.
i cannot comprehend the enormity of arriving at my mom's house, ringing the doorbell, hearing footsteps, watching the door open, seeing her face and asking if she gave birth in may of 1978. i imagine that time will stop for a few moments.
if nothing else i can look her square in the eye and tell her that i turned out alright.
one night in the latter half of 1977 my eighteen year old biological father fucked the shit out of my seventeen year old biological mother; one of his "y" chromosome sperm ultimately found its way to her egg and created the individual who created this post.
i know little else except for a brief medical history and general demographic information. i know they both had at least six brothers and sisters (!!!) and i know that i am primarily swedish and german. i know that they never married or stayed together as a couple. i know that i have at least several half-siblings. i know that my father tried to contact me fifteen years ago but my adoptive parents decided not to share any information with either me or him at the time. i also know that neither or them -- not even my mother during childbirth -- has ever seen me. a curtain was placed between her eyes and her vagina during delivery. i was taken to an adoption clinic and brought home by my adoptive parents several days later. i weighed eight pounds.
thats about all i know.
my parents informed me that i was adopted as soon as i could comprehend its significance. it eventually would have become abundantly obvious for the simple reason that i look absolutely nothing like my adoptive parents or sister. (my adoptive mother gave birth to my sister; my adoptive mother was subsequently unable to conceive a second time so my adoptive parents decided to adopt a child.) besides having light hair, light eyes and just about every other swedish characteristic known to man, i am also the only person in my immediate family who is right-handed.
if either of my biological parents completed and sent the same application that i will soon send to the department of public health we will both be contacted and furnished with each other's names and last known addresses. if neither of them has sent the form then nothing will happen.
if i receive a letter in the mail i will enjoy a feeling few people on the planet will ever have the pleasure of experiencing.
i cannot comprehend the enormity of arriving at my mom's house, ringing the doorbell, hearing footsteps, watching the door open, seeing her face and asking if she gave birth in may of 1978. i imagine that time will stop for a few moments.
if nothing else i can look her square in the eye and tell her that i turned out alright.
posted by megaton at 12:39 AM
6 Comments:
I think you turned out pretty fucking cool.
i too, was adopted. my brother and sister were not. i have never fit in with my adoptive family. they have never drank/smoked/etc/ they are very religous and conservative.. (my adoptive father died when i was 14) i've tried finding out about my birth parents for about 10 years.. and nothing. she hasn't registered with any "find your real daughter" places..and it's such a touchy subject with my adoptive family... that i may never know. i hope you find out. and i hope that one day, i will too.
if you could know one thing what would your choice be?
my adoptive parents are religious, weak complainers.
i cant stand those who do nothing but complain.
i hate those who whine about every ache and pain.
i loathe the idea of god.
if god actually exists, i would love to piss on its face. what a motherfucking cocksucker.
i just want to know why? i've had a child.. i don't understand how someone could give up their child.
also, i wonder what they look like. i hold onto my baby more than i probably should. he's the only thing in this world that i belong to.
what would you want to know from your birth mother/father?
i'm not religious (i was raised church of christ, so you can imagine) but, i believe in god. the god i believe in isn't all hellfire and damnation. what do you believe?.. just curious.
i too would like to know what they look like and what interests them. i want to know if my father follows the cubs. i want to read a piece of my mother's creative writing.
they are both still very young.
i know they made the right choice by placing me for adoption. i realize that they wanted me to have opportunities they couldnt provide.
im a religious nihilist in that i completely reject all religious teachings, scriptures and doctrines. i believe that all religious works are fables, stories or anecdotes written by people who were in the right place at the right time.
thats not to say i dont have an extremely strong sense of values, morals and philanthropy. i simply believe these attributes are rooted in individual choice and character rather than divine will.
please dont take offense to anything i might write with respect to god. i would never argue with you or downplay your beliefs at any time for any reason.
youre a good person and thats all that matters to me.
i would never take offense to that. how could i? i was raised in a very religious family, hence the fact that i haven't been to any kind of church since i was 18. i believe like you.. religion is what is wrong with people. it's division. plain and simple.
i hope you find your adoptive parents and answers to your questions. i hope i can do the same one day soon. i really would like to know my "real" birthday and where i am from.
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